Crazy Husband

the middle of the night,
she suddenly shouts:
"Get up quickly my
husband is
here!!!" The man gets up
from the bed,
jumps out
the window,
hurts himself and
then realizes "Damn, I am the
husband!!!"

Who"s guilty in the situation?????

BURNA BOY

Information reaching us is thatone of the newly signed Globacom ambassadors, rave of the moment musician, BurnaBoy, is actually on the run from the authorities in the UK.

Since his singing career picked up dramatically, Burna Boy has been in high demand by fans in the UK but the guy can��t stephis foot in London without being arrested and has been dodging. Why is this so?

Burna Boy has been going to USA, Canada and other countries for shows but he hasnot been to the UK to perform unlike his fellow Nigerian artist.The reason, from what a source told TON, is because he was deported to Nigeria in August 2010 after he was caught for running bank scams.

The information is that Burna Boy, who first got to the UK in 2003, was deported back in 2010 for fraud bank scams.

I hear Burna Boy cant go back to the UK unless he has his deportation order revoked which seems very difficult for him at the moment as he has had many request to do showsbut were turned down

Breaking NEWS Man broke ATM and stole N12M

A security man and employee of First Bank Nigeria Plc, Jibowu Branch, Seyi Jaiyeola, is standing trial at a magistrate�s court in Ebute Meta for allegedly breaking the company�s automated teller machine and stealing a sum of N12, 533,900.
The bank�s branch Service Manager, Mr. Kayode Aiyewunmi, who gave evidence in court, said Jaiyeola was on a N20, 000 monthly pay and was a member of the Odua People�s Congress.
He said the company had observed that one of the bank�s four ATMs was having a reconciliation problem and had employed the service of an expert to help unravel mysterious disappearances of money.
Aiyewunmi said, �We discovered that there was always a shortage of cash in the machine.
�Despite our reconciliation efforts, the ATM was still having problems and we engaged the service of an expert who submitted his report and said the machine did not have any reconciliation issue.
�He said somebody was breaking into the machine in the middle of the night to steal the cash.
�I reported the matter to my boss, who said I should conduct an investigation into the matter. �When the last breakage happened, we went to play back the branch�s CCTV, and we now saw Jaiyeola in the middle of the night, opening the window at the back of my office. There�s a control panel which controls the security door, which he touched. So, the CCTV stopped.�
He said it was at that point the company concluded he was the brain behind the theft.
He said after the matter was reported at the Onipanu Police station, and the accused was arrested, he led them to his house, where he allegedly confessed to the crime.
Aiyewunmi said, �When we got to his house for a search, we recovered N243,945 cash. The police then asked him what else he did with the money. He said he bought a car, which was parked at the house there, a Toyota Corolla. Then we recovered a new generator. He also took the police to the building he was constructing which was near completion.� He said after recovering the item, First Bank transferred the matter to the State Criminal Investigation Department, Yaba.
Jaiyeola was arraigned on a five counts of fraud and stealing and was subsequently granted bail in the sum of N1m with two sureties in like sum.
The prosecution counsel, Mr. Ishola Samuel, asked for an adjournment to help source some legal citations.
The magistrate, Mrs. M.O Tanimola, adjourned the matter till July 15.

2FACE back to school

Innocent Idibia popularly known as Tuface Idibia in an interview talks about his music, kids and plans for his education.

Is Tuface A Player?
If I were a player, they wouldn�t have caught me like that.
On His Role Has A Father
Tuface who has six kids from different women said its not being easy, sometimes his work entails him travelling a lot and as such does not see his kids as he wants to.
According to him he had a different plan of just having one wife and kids but since things turned out this way he has accepted, no shaking.
On His Children Following His Footsteps
Tuface said he won�t discourage any of his children if they decide to follow his footsteps musically. As a matter of fact he�ll make be a good adviser.
On His Plans To Go Back To School
He definitely still has plans to go back to school to study law but he�s not certain when.
On Why He Took So Long To Settle
I don�t really have an answer to that question, because I don�t know. I can�t explain why I don�t have an answer to that, but somehow, by the grace of God, we are still together.
On His Choice Of Name
He said it was a way of letting his fans know the real him different from the one they see in the public, TV, papers, radio.
Meaning Tuface is an artiste � the public figure, and Tuface, the actual me.
On His Fame
It takes away your privacy and freedom to do some kind of simple, basic things. Like I can�t go to Iya Christopher to sit down and eat amala, the way I dey do before.
On how much Tuface is worth today
I never gather, but I dey try.
Tuface attributed his journey so far to hardwork, his fans and of course the grace of God.

WIZKID dat NIGERIAN singer on fire

Its just 12 days after Wizkid Ayo balogun crashed his N15m Porsche Panarama.
Wizkid has moved on to acquire yet another brand new Porsche. Star Boy thing. We hope he will be more careful this time.
The �Jaiya Jaiye� star got another brand new Porsche.
Congratulations to him and maybe someone should tell him to please remember OJB, the producer who needs 16million naira..

Thank

ATTEMPT ALL QUESTIONS

1ST SEMESTER EXAM Attempt all questions. Time: 1hr 30 mins Section A (All questions carry equal marks) 1. What are the names of the two people holding hands when you switch on a Nokia phone ? 2. If the past tense of Take is Took, what is the past tense of Make ? 3. Which university in Nigeria has the highest number of ladies using blackberry phones? 4. If Buhari is a friend to Obasanjo on facebook, who sent the friend request and why ? 5. if the cost of moi-moi is N10.50, what is the cost of moi ? 6. Who ate the missing part of the apple logo? SECTION B 1. Between the Nigerian police and Nigerian girls, who likes money more? 2. Using the almighty formula, calculate the diameter of elegushi beach. (take pi=3.142) 3. If Ada is a girl and Obi is a boy,who is Adaobi ? 4. If your x-boyfriend/girlfriend wins N50,000,000 on who wants to be a millionaire after you broke up, find the value of X? 5. If it takes Goodluck 1 hour to deliver a typed speech in a national conference, how many days will it take Patience to deliver the same speech on the same occasion? SECTION C 1) Tuface was given a Prado and Ferarri on his traditional wedding and white wedding respectively. There is every likelihood that D Banj has gone ahead to print wedding invitation cards without an available bride. Discuss. 2) Write an essay of 1, 500 words on 'My Oga At The Top' NO SIDE TALK,NO CHEATING GOOD LUCK...

True Talk ABT NIGERIA

WELCOME TO NIGERIA!!!! Where SEX is free and LOVE is costly, Where loosing a PHONE is more painful than loosing VIRGINITY, Where if u don't CHEAT on ur partner u're not SMART and SHARP, Where BATHROOMS ve become PHOTO STUDIO, Where getting a BLACKBERRY is more greater than getting a BSC DEGREE, Where YAHOO BOYS think they have a brighter future than the GRADUATES....

FIRST LADY OF NIGERIA

NO B me Talk am ooo … Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women…. Waiter brings their bills: Dame Patience N10,400 Ngozi Okonjo N10,250 Dora Akunyili N10,450 Turai Yar’adua N10,200 Total. N41,300 And she says: I will pay for everyone else, but TOTAL must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria!

Joke of the HR

Little Johnny's teacher noticed that he was sporting a black eye. She asked him what happened, and he replied, "Ma'am, you remember I told you how I sleep on the floor next to my parent's bed? Well, last night, my dad asked me if I was still awake, I said yes and then he punched me in the face. Ok, Johnny", the teacher said, trying to help, " the next time your dad asks you if you're still awake, don't answer, just lay still and pretend to be asleep." All went well, until a few weeks later,Little Johnny came to class with another black eye. The teacher asked him why he didn't follow her advice. Johnny explained, "Ma'am, I tried to, when dad asked me if I was awake, I kept quiet and lay really still, and pretended to be asleep, but then Dad said 'I'm coming', and Mom said 'I'm coming too', and I didn't want them to go anywhere without me, so I shouted, 'Let me just put on my slippers, I'm coming too' and that's when I got punched in the face.

FIRST LADY OF NIGERIA

NO B me Talk am ooo … Dame Patience went out for drink with some of the top women…. Waiter brings their bills: Dame Patience N10,400 Ngozi Okonjo N10,250 Dora Akunyili N10,450 Turai Yar’adua N10,200 Total. N41,300 And she says: I will pay for everyone else, but TOTAL must pay for herself because I didn’t invite her afterall she owns petrol stations all over Nigeria!

Joke of the day

A Governor was in the church for thanksgiving...The topic of the sermon was "repentance"..after the sermon, pastor Akpos asked the congregation 'if anybody wants 2 give ur life 2 God lift ur hand let me pray 4 U......' Nobody responded 4 about three times...The Governor mounted d alter and made a statement.."If u want 2 give ur life 2 God plz lift up ur hands let pastor Akpos pray 4 U cos we want 2 have good citizens in this state"....a young guy lifted up his hands reluctantly... d governor asked his PA 2 give the guy 15 million naira.....The governor repeated the same statement again, this time around everybody's hand was up... The Governor turned 2 pastor Akpos 2 pray 4 them, 2 his greatest surprise pastor's Akpos hand was also up.....

THE WISE FOOL CALLED AKPOS

Akpos was being chased by two men for one of his Numerous Crimes. On the spot, Akpos ran into a forest and the men followed him. Akpos got into the forest and climbed a tree. The Two men got to the tree where Akpos was and did not know where he ran to. Angrily one of the men retorted, "This boy has escaped again". His colleague replied, "I know him, if i call his Name 3 times, he wil answer me!" On hearing this Akpos bursts into laughter from the tree and said to the men, "Hahahah, if you like call my name from now till next year, i will not answer you, do u think am the Akpos of last year? I have grown". The men got him down and beat him black & blue. Describe Akpos In One Word?? . #puffmicky

COMMON SENSE

A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer; “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.” The barber puts a fifty naira note in one hand and two ten naira notes in the other, then calls the boy over and asks; “Which do you want, son?” The boy takes the two ten naira notes and leaves. “What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. “Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the ten naira notes instead of the fifty naira note?” The boy licked his cone and replied, “Because the day I take the fifty naira note, the game is over!!!” Abeg who is dumber!!

EDUCATION

A PROFESSOR .. [ Prof KEN ] and an ordinary friend [ MR. OKEY ] ....went on a camping trip ... Last weekend ..... at ... NGWO Forest ... in .... UDI LGA .. ENUGU State. They set up their tent to cover and protect them from Rain , .... Dew or any Dangerous Animal...and fell asleep some hrs later. At Night..... the MR .OKEY ... woke up his friend:.... Mr. OKEY : Prof ..."Look up at the sky and tell me wat u see ?" PROFESSOR :...." Quite alright...I see millions of stars" Mr. OKEY : Prof ...."wat does dat tell u?" [ The PROF guy ponders 4 a minute] PROFESSOR : .....Wot a STUPID Question ... my friend .. to ask a PROFESSOR of my Caliber ... with Many NATIONAL and INTERNATIONAL ....HONOURS ... [ ...Prof Continues ] .... PROFESSOR : 1, ....."Astronomi­cally speaking,.....i­t tells me that their r millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. 2,....Astrologi­cally,....it tells me that Satan s in LEO.. 3,....Time wise,....it appears to be approximately 03:15... 4,....Theologic­ally,....its evident the Lord is all-powerful and we r small and insignificant 5,....Meteorolo­giically,.....i­t seems we will have a beautiful day 2morow. .......What does it tell u ma Stupid Friend?" . [ MR. OKEY was silent 4 a moment ] Mr. OKEY :"Practically..­.... It tells me that...."Our tents has been stolen .. that why .. we r even seeing the Sky n the Million Stars" **** "EDUCATION ... to .. a .. FOOL ... Is Like a GOLDEN RING ..on a PIG's...NOSE " **** [ Being Educated is GOLDEN ... but... knw wen to APPLY.... IT..is .....DIAMOND ]

BROWSE ON ANDROID USING BLACKBERRY SUBSCRIPTION

All you need is ----------- - An activate MTN BIS plan (BBCDAY which cost N100, BBCWeek – N500 or BBC which cost N1500 for a month) - An android phone (tecno n3, samsung s3 and so on) Make sure you have subscribed to any of the available mtn blackberry complete plans and your android phone is properly configured with the settings below: Access point: blackberry.net Proxy address: empty Username and Password: web Make sure you save this settings and set it as your default connection settings. Now open your inbuilt internet browser and start surfing using mtn b

WHO REALLY OWNS A MAN

Who really owns a man? His mother or wife? AN ARGUMENT: Mother: My son must obey me unless he didn't suck my breast for 1yr. Wife: He sucks mine now and sucked it for more than 5yrs and is still sucking. Mother: I carried him for nine months. Wife: He was only 3.5kg then,so what's the big deal? I carry him every night and he is 85kg now. Mother: He passed between my legs with pains. Wife: Hahaha, he only passed there once, he stays between my legs like everyday and I scream with pains each night. Pls WHO OWNS A MAN? Kindly Post your answer. Don't spoil the fun plssss - Who Truly Own a Man??

NORTHERN AFRICA VISITED BY AKPOS AND MUSA

Akpos and Musa were caught in a Northern african country, sharing a smuggled barrel of beer. They were arrested and taken to the Sheik’s palace for questioning and judgment. Musa lied that Apkos smuggled and forced him to drink the beer! Both were initially given a death sentence but, as it was a national holiday, the Sheik decided they should be released after some lashes of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheik said, “It’s my first wife’s birthday today and she asked me to allow each of you 2 wishes before your whipping, but you cannot wish not to be whipped!” Musa thought for a second then said: “Please tie two pillows to my back before whipping.” And my second wish is that you flog me only 20 strokes of the whip. He was whipped, and luckily for him, the pillows helped to make the pain of the whip lesser. Apkos saw this; thought for a second, then said: “Thank you, most royal and merciful highness for the wishes. My first wish is to receive 100 lashes with the strongest, toughest whip available.”, Musa laughed and thought Apkos was a fool… The Sheik replied with a puzzled look on his face,” and your second wish?” Apkos replied “Tie Musa to my back!” WHO IS SMARTER

AKPOS AND HIS FATHER

Akpors' father accompanied him to his school end of the year award party. As they sat watching and amidst great shouts and loud ovations, the beneficiaries were called to the podium for their award presentation. The following conversation ensued: Announcer: Best student in sciences, the winner is Inem. Father: (Applause and eyes Akpors scornfully) see correct children! Announcer: Best student in commercial studies, the winner is Ajoke. Father: (Hisses and eyes Akpors) see correct children. Announcer: Best student in Arts and the winner is Helen. Father: (fuming with anger) See correct children!!. And so, all the awards were presented without any going to Akpors. At the end of the event, they left and went to the car park but as his dad made to start the car, the engine refused to respond. He opened the bonnet and touched a few things but all to no avail. Then they resorted to pushing and just as they got to the exit of the school the rickety car parked up. Exhausted and profusely sweating, Akpors rested on the gate just as his mates were driving off with their parents in Hummer jeep, Sequia, Infinity, Escalade, Bentley, Lincoln Nav and other exotic cars. All of a sudden, Akpors burst into laughter. His puzzled father asked,'what's so funny?' Amidst teary eyes Akpors responded 'SEE CORRECT FATHERS!'

PSYCHIATRIST ON FIRE

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a bastard. PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that? GIRL: Well, he kissed me. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? (The psychiatrist kissed the girl) GIRL: ......Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a bastard. GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? (The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top) GIRL: Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a bastard. GIRL: But, he took my clothes off. PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? (The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes) GIRL:Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a bastard. GIRL: But, he had sex with me! PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this? (The psychiatrist had sex with the girl) GIRL:.Yes! PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a bastard. GIRL: But then he told me he has AIDS. PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARDDDDDDDDD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! #One word for the Psychiatrist ???

IMPACT OF STRESS

A stressed man was in his office thinking deeply. Suddenly a man raninside shouting, "Peter!! Peter....!!! Peter!! Your daughter Tonia just hadan accident and died." Shocked and confused, he jumps out of the office window. As soon as he jumped, he remembered his office is on the 7th floor, as he descends lower he remembered that he doesn't have a daughter called Tonia. Still descending he remembered he is not even married.Just two floors before he hits the ground, he remembered that his name is not even Peter...... Luckily, he wasn't injured because hefell on top of the lorry carrying mattress. MORAL LESSON: stop thinking too much, try and live a stress free life. Pray everyday and God will help youovercome stress.

BEYONCE IN DEAD

B*R*E*A*K*I*N*G N*E*W*S: BEYONCE IS DEAD ' ' Beyonce died yesterday around 7.15pm. According to a reliable source, she was said to die after an unsuccessful operation that was performed on her recently. Her burial to be fixed during the weekend. Beyonce Anyanwu is a woman of 60 yrs from Orlu Imo state. She was an hardworking school teacherat a boarding school. May her soul rest in peace.

HEALTH INSURANCE

Is health insurance within reach for many people in your country? Millions of people in the Mekong Delta region of Vietnam now have access to affordable health insurance and improved health services.

Watch the video to find out how it happened: http://bit.ly/10VyBxt

CASH NIZE

Note: http://Cashnize.com/?refcode=2

Dont

Don't take off your panties, because he called you beautiful, take them off because he married you. Don't open your legs because he said you will make a good mother. Open them because he's ready to be a father after your wedding. Don't take him home because he gave you a ride or buy you ice cream and fried rice, take him home because he treated you like a queen and is committed to be the love of your life. Don't push him away because he has no money today. Hold him close if he is a man of vision, to another woman, he's Honey and he got brighter days ahead, with a prospective blossoming future. Don't go punishing him because another man hurt you! All men are not the same! A man who fears God doesn't hurt! If he loves you, give him a chance and he may be the best thing that ever happened to you. Don't stay up all night wondering where to find a good man. Work on your character! Be an asset! Serve God.

CUTEST PROPOSAL IN THE WORLD

The cutest proposal of the world from a cute girl to a boy...
Girl:hey,i av lost my surename... Can i use urs
Boy:....

DESCRIPTION OF DS VINCI CODE NOVEL

Description:
The Da Vinci Code is a 2003 mystery-detective novel written by Dan Brown. It follows symbologist Robert Langdon and cryptologist Sophie Neveu as they investigate a murder in Paris's Louvre Museum and discover a battle between the Priory of Sion and Opus Dei over the possibility of Jesus having been married to Mary Magdalene. The title of the novel refers to, among other things, the fact that the murder victim is found in the Grand Gallery of the Louvre, naked and posed like Leonardo da Vinci's famous drawing, the Vitruvian Man, with a cryptic message written beside his body and a pentacle drawn on his chest in his own blood. ISBN: 0-385-50420-9 (US) / 9780552159715 (UK) Publisher: Doubleday (US), Transworld & Bantam Books (UK)

BIBLE NOW IN NIGERIA PIDGIN

Finally the new NIGERIA PIDGIN ENGLISH BIBLE is out. one of the popular chapter is psalm 23, which reads
1. The Lord na my shepherd, i dey kampe.
2. E make me sidon for where betta dey flow and come put me next to stream make mai bodi thermacool.
3. E panel beat mai soul Come spray am white, Come dey lead me dey go Through express road of righteousness sake of Hin name....
4. Walahi!, if I waka pass where arm robber, 419 and juju people boku, come even join boko haram reach valley of the shadow of death sef, mai bodi dey inside cloth. Your rod and staff nko ? Na so dem dey like back bone dey comfort me.
5. You don prepare good food ontop d table make I chop. All mai enemies dey look waa waa. You rub me for head wit vaseline intensive lotion. mai cup na River Niger wey overflow hin bank.
6. True true, betta life and mercy go gum mai back till I quench. And man pikin go tanda for God house from lai lai to lai la Can somebody shout halleluyah

AIRTEL FREE MB ON MODEM

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Free download on ETISALAT

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AIRTEL FREE MB ON MODEM

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4::::::send 3G to 121
5::::::check ur mb and getshocked"10GB given" Enjoy while it last.

Free download on GLO

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Liz da SILVA NOT sure of who is responsible for her prenancy

If gist reaching First Weekly Magazine is anything to by, then the short drama witnessed during the Bisi Ibidapo Obe/Dino Melaye saga might repeat itself again. But this time, it will shift to another Yoruba actress named Liz Da Silva. Tale-bearers within the Yoruba film industry alleged that the upcoming sexy actress, Liz Da Silva, who recently held her baby shower in May at Lagos in the presence of few friends, is not sure, who is responsible for her pregnancy out of her three lovers. According to speculations within the Yoruba movie industry circle, Lizzy, as she is fondly called by her friends, has allegedly taken her pregnancy to three different men, none of whom has accepted responsibility for the unborn baby. Digs done by First Weekly Magazine showed that Liz Da Silva first went to MC Oluomo,who allegedly slept with her on the night of Oshodi Day, which held in December 2012, but MC Oluomo reportedly denied responsibility for the pregnancy. Rumour-mongers told First Weekly that shortly after this, Liz turned to one Akeem, who shuttles between Nigeria and the UK, who she dated while she was shooting her movie, which she premiered in October 2012 at White House, Ikeja, Lagos, but that he also rejected the pregnancy. Not done yet, the actress reportedly turned to one Khalid Soleye, who she met at Shoprite, Ikeja, Lagos in October 2012. Khalid, as we were told by the tale-bearers, works in an oil company. We were further told that this rich guy stays in Warri, Delta State, but visits Lagos regularly. The gossips, who claimed to be in the know, also told First Weekly that in late 2012, after they started rubbing bodies together, Liz allegedly told Khalid that he should stop using condoms on her whenever they had any ‘match’ to play at the ‘stadium’. Khalid was said to have obliged the lady. But in February 2013, when the light-skinned actress allegedly informed Khalid of the pregnancy, he was said to have told her that he would only accept responsibility if a DNA test confirms that he is the father of the baby. The industry tale-bearers also said that Liz was in the early stage of the regnancy as at October 2012. We heard that even as at December 2012, when she went out with MC Oluomo, she had already taken in, but this was known to only few people. The rumour monger said Lizzy might put to bed in June, all things being equal.

New TERRORIST GROUP uncorvered in NIGERIA

The military Joint Task Force (JTF) has arrested a Lebanese co-owner of Amigo Supermarket and Wonderland Amusement Park in Abuja, Fauzi Fawaz, following his alleged implication in ownership of a large cache of weapons of different types andcalibre. A report also indicated that a Lebanese owner of Tahir Palace Hotel in Kano, Tahir Fadallah, had also been arrested over his alleged involvement in the import of weapons. But as at press time, there was a conflicting report on whetheror not Fadallah had been arrested. According to a military source, one of the suspects had been linked to a serving governor in one of the north�Cwest states. The weapons were uncovered at an underground bunker at No. 3 Gaya Road, off Bompai Road in Kano, after a combinedteam of the JTF involving soldiers from 3 Brigade in Kanoand Kano DSS conducted a thorough search of the bunker. Another Lebanese, Talal Roda, with a Nigerian passport, was said to have been arrested at the underground bunker by the military operatives. The weapons recovered include anti-tank weapons, rocket-propelled guns, anti-tank/anti-personnel mines and other dangerous weapons.All the arms and ammunition recovered were properly concealed with several layers ofconcrete and placed in coolers, drums and bags neatly wrapped. The discovery of the weapons also confirms the existence of Hezbollah terrorist cells in Nigeria. The owner of Amigo Supermarket was arrested on May 16, 2013, and he was said to have implicated the owner of Tahir Palace Hotel. Kano State director of the State Security Service, Mr Bassey Etang, also revealed that the owner of the weapons discovered has Hezbollah links. All those arrested have confessed to have undergone Hezbullah terrorism training and further implicated one Fauzi Fawaz, also a co-owner of Amigo Supermarket and Wonderland Amusement Park. The arms and ammunition were targeted at facilities of Israeli and Western interest in Nigeria. However, the security agencies are making frantic efforts to unveil the true situation. LEADERSHIP gathered that the house where the weapons were uncovered was less than 500 meters away from the Kano State police headquarters,Bompai, and Immigration and Customs headquarters. While conducting journalists round the house, the state SSS director, Bassey Etang, described the discovery as a huge success. He said the owner of the house, who is stillat large, could be a dangerous terrorist with the ill-intention to attack Nigeria��s interest in disguise of attacking Israeli or foreign interests. LEADERSHIP witnessed the deceitful way the man at large stockpiled the weaponry insidea hole about 12 feet deep in his master bedroom. It was observed that some cupboardsattached to the wall in some parts of the house contained a stock of guns and armoury. LEADERSHIP saw ammunition, dynamites used to make explosives and containers usedin stocking the ammunition. AK47 rifles were in large quantity and there were weapons that were not usually seen in the hands of even insurgents or armed robbers. Meanwhile, the brigade commander, 3rd Brigade, Nigerian Army, Brig-Gen IIyasu Abba, has described the cache of weapons as equal to weapons of mass destructions,considering their quantities and nature. The 3rd Brigade commander added that the investigation that led to the discovery startedin Abuja by the SSS and it was as a result of an arrest of a suspect. Abba said among the weaponsdiscovered during the operation on Tuesday were 17 AK 47 rifles, 44 magazines, fourland mines and 12 RPG bombs, 14 RPG charger, 11 66 mm anti-tanks weapons, one SMG magazine, one pistol and magazine. Also, 11, 433 rounds of 7.26 mm special, 76 hand grenade, rocket-propelled guns, 122-calibre artillery and anti-mines weapons were recovered. ��What you are seeing here are weapons of mass destruction in terms of our situation here right now in Nigeria. If these things had been brought out, only God knows the type of destruction they would cause to innocent persons in the state or in the country,���� he said. He said the Department of StateSecurity Service (SSS) in A

NIG ARMY CONFIRMS PRESENCE OF HEZBOLLAH TERRORISTS IN NIGERIA

ARMY CONFIRMS PRESENCE OF HEZBOLLAH TERRORISTS IN NIGERIA  
Sat 01 Jun 2013
Armoury suspected to be that of Hezbollah organization have been uncovered by a team of joint security officers in Kano state, North West Nigeria. Displaying the weapons to journalists, the joint Security Chiefs of the Department of State Security (DSS), Police and Nigerian Army, confirmed the arrests of four persons suspected to be the occupants of the house. According to the security chiefs, on 28 May, a combine team of the Joint Task Force (JTF) involving operatives of theNigeria Army, and the DSS in Kano conducted a search of thehouse located at No3 Gaya road off Bompai road allegedly belonging to one Abdul HassanTaher Fadlalla-a Lebanese national who is now at large and declared wanted. After searching the building, the security agents uncovered an underground bunker in the master��s bed room were these large quantity of assorted weapons of different type and calibre.A raid on the residence of one of the Lebanese had uncovered eleven 60 mm anti-tank weapons, four anti-tank landmines, two rounds of ammunition for a 122 mm artillery gun, 21 rocket-propelled grenades, seventeen AK-47s with more than 11,000 bullets and dynamite. The discoveries according to the officers confirm the existence of Hezbollah cell in Nigeria.A statement by the military spokesperson in Kano, Captain Ikedichi Iweha on Wednesday announced that three suspects were arrested between May 16 and May 28 and they all admitted to being members of Hezbollah under questioning. ��The search team uncovered an underground bunker in the master bedroom where a largequantity of assorted weapons of different types and caliber were recovered,�� Captain Iweha said. ��All those arrested have confessed to have undergone Hezbollah terrorist training.�� The DSS on 16May, 2013 arrested one Mustapha Fawaz, suspected to be the co-owner of the popular Amigo supermarket as well as Wonderland Amusement Park, all in Abuja.They also arrested one Abdullahi Tahini at Malam Aminu Kano International Airport while trying to leaves the country. Meanwhile, the joint security chiefs confirmed that all those arrested have confessed to have undergone Hezbollah training and further implicated one Fauzi Fawad, also a co-owner of Amigo and Wonderland Amusement Park. Hezbollah is a Shi��a Islamic militant group and political party based in Lebanon, is classified as a terrorist group by a number on western countries.

LITTLE AKPOS VS SUNDAY SCHOOL TEACHER

Little Akpors was not the best student in Sunday school. Usually he slept through the class. One day the teacher called on akpors while he was sleeping, "Tell me, Akpors, who created the universe?" When Akpors didn't stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind akpors, took a pin and jabbed akpors in the rear. "GOD ALMIGHTY!" shouted Akpors and the teacher said, "Very good" and Akpors fell back asleep. A while later the teacher asked Akpors, "Who is our Lord and Saviour," But, Akpors didn't even stir from his slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the his rescue and stuck him again. 'JESUS CHRIST!" shouted Akpors and the teacher said, "very good," and Akpors fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Akpors a third question. "What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?" And again, Johnny jabbed him with the pin. This time Akpors jumped up and shouted, "IF YOU STICK THAT F*****G THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME, I'LL BREAK IT IN HALF AND STICK IT UP YOUR ARSE!" The Teacher fainted.

DEFINITION OF WAHALA

DEFINITION OF WAHALA: ~ when the person interviewing you at your new job is the same guy you insulted in traffic. You go apologise tire. ~ When you tell your friend "your mama!!!" and turn around and see his or her mum staring at you. Meeehn, u go collect plenty slap. ~ When Mosquito lands on your father's bald head and u try to kill it with your bare hands. You must provide d proof ohh, or else...: ~ When Patience Ebele is ur English Teacher before WAEC. Na A1 u go get, no worry. ~ when you update "salary things" on facebook and your landlord comments "on point" U go travel go villa by force. ~ when you're in a bus and you throw away # 500 note instead of gala wrapper. O'boy, E don red be dat! cry ~ when ur dad works at NEPA and they take light and you shout God punish NEPA.......and he's there with u. Na ur mama go start to pay ur school fees. ~ when u dey on top okada and the okada man dey ping... Na automatic ticket to Baba God be dat. ~ when you finish eating in an eatery and u find out ur wallet fell out in a taxi... Start to prepare ur grammar ~ when Usain Bolt chases u with a Cutlass... Ol'boy, just stop beg am. ~ when u give beggar #5000 note instead of #50. Generosity go change mind.

Akpos,Ekaitte vs MTN

Akpos: MTN people dey chop our money too much.
Ekaitte: Yes the stealing is too much.
Akpos: I got an idea, instead of using phone, why don't we use a pigeon in sending messages like the old time, just tie your message to it's leg if you want to reply.
Ekaitte: I like what is in your head. After an hour of waiting, Ekaitte saw the pigeon in the window, she checked it's leg's but nothing there, she sent it back, just a few minutes it comes back, she quickly grabs it but to her dissapointment no message again, she sent it back. After some few minutes, she opened the window for the pigeon to come in, she checked it's legs but still no message. With too much anger, she headed to Akpos house and shouted "Akpos come here, you idiot, you said you will send message through this pigeon but why the three times it came to me, no message?!
Akpos: You don't get it oooh... It's 3 missed calls not message